Tum Mere Bhaiyon Jaise Ho

Translation: You're just like a brother to me.

Um. Okay. Yeah that's not as comforting as you girls might think, and I will be speaking for all of us here.

The Brotherzone is a little different from the recently discussed friendzone. It's more messed up, it's hurtful, it's hopeless. I'll tell you why. Let's consider the example of Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger (I hope that's how you spell it, sorry. Never read an HP book) Aaand there goes 80% of my female audience. Khair.
So you see, Ron did finally manage to make it out of the friendzone didn't he? So there is hope.
But things gets awkward if you become her brother, I mean, you obviously don't want to end up looking like the Lannisters, do you?

Snape. You poor bastard! 

Looking for the perfect picture, I saw way too many spoilers </3

So all of this raises the question: Why do they do it? 
Why do the boys have to suffer time and time again at the hands of these never ending psycho-social behaviors?
All they ever wanted was to get closer to a girl that they sort of thought was cute and who might make a nice friend in the long run and then MAYBE, in some cases, a compatible life partner if things worked out. Seriously. The male mind; It's that simple.

BUT NO. Women look at things from a different perspective. A perspective we do not understand. A perspective that has remained a mystery to us since the beginning of time. A perspective that, once fully understood, will make man rule the world for eternity. (Not that he's not doing that already, but still).

Nicely put.

What we only ask women today is why a nice young man is left to die out in the cold by telling him that you think he's a great guy, handsome, smart and a real charmer and that you love him a lot. And that....... he's just like a brother they never had! 

WHY. 

I ask this, because, I have a simple mind. Because I'm just another normal guy. I ask this because I don't understand the insecurity. Is he a terrible human being? Do you think he would slip you a roofie and steal your kidney? Do you think he's after your money? Or do you think he's going to somehow export you to Paris and sell you off to one of the rich, shauqeen mizaaj arabs like what happens in Liam Neeson's action packed movie Taken? Because if yes, THEN DON'T BE FRIENDS WITH HIM. 

If the answer is no, then there are other ways dear ladies. If you're afraid that he's going to ask you out and have hopes, then PLEASE shoot him down coldly and bluntly and tell him it's not going to work out instead of using the Bhaizone button. It's a cheap shot. 

Do you also like him back but you can't be with him for some unjustifiable reason that only seems right to you and your friends? You don't want him to go away? And you think making him your brother will help you achieve that?! NO WOMEN NO. What the hell is wrong with your hormones? No. That doesn't work. Please do him and yourself a favour and deal with it nicely, maturely and respectfully. 

The Brotherzone may be an easy way out dear reader. But it hurts. It hurts the Bhaizonee and his friends make fun of him too. Because that's what guy friends are best at. Busting each other's balloons.  

I would like to end my post by quoting a saying of world famous scholar HARIS AL- SIDDIQUI from Mannheim Germany:

Islam mein bhi apne saggay bhaai ke ilaawa kisee aur larkay ko bhaai banana sakht gunaah hay

So there you have it ladies! 

In the end, if you really want to know ke hum kis case main bhai bann saktay hain, tou here's a little something:

Yeah. This cool person just wanted some love. 

There's one more thing that bothers the crap out of me: Girls who put me on limited! Until next time!

If you enjoyed reading this, you'll also like other posts such as:

1. She Loves Him, As A Friend (a blog post on the Friendzone)

2. How To Poop At Work

3. Dear Girls